By: Roberto Bonomi
You need to take control over your stress in order to channel your energy into performing as you would like to and not as a result of an unidentified stress that has a foothold in your life, and for that you need a daily control of your stress, you need a diary.
Some of your diary’s notes could be:
* Alarm clock didn’t go off and the kids arrived late to school
* Traffic was worst than ever
* You arrived late to work
* Your boss was with a bad mood
* You picked up kids from school in a worst mood than at the morning
* Mother in law came to visit you
Your stress diary can help you understand what causes your stress, how you react to stress and if your reactions are appropriate and useful
And to best analyze your stress you can also include the following information into your diary
* How stressed out do you feel
* What symptoms do you feel?
* How did you handle the stress?
Analizing the diary
If you use your dairy daily, in three to four weeks you should be able to start to see your patterns. You will be able to identify your stressors (those things that provoke you stress), and you will most probably notice that some of your stressors will be repeated on a regular basis.
So the question is: What can you do about the stressors that come and come?
If one of your stressors is a person, you can decide not to see that person again (and if you can’t, at least not so often)
But although the animals have only two options: fight or flight, we as human beings can also re-define situations, we can change the way we react.
In example: if you can’t stand your mother in law, instead of becoming crazy when she comes to your house, you can try different answers as:
* try to understand that’s an unavoidable problem. You like to see your mother and your couple likes to se his/her mother, and that’s natural
* Or try to avoid the encounter not being there
* Or talk to your couple about it and ask that you don’t want that visit too often
* Or invite a friend of yours the same day, and let your couple take care of his/her mother, while you chat with your friend
Your goal should be to diminish your life’s stress learning how to deal with stressful situations, and this can be done responding in a more proactive and positive manner
Every day has its own stress load
Very often we carry over yesterday’s concerns into our present day concerns, or tomorrow concerns into today concerns.
Every day has its own stress load it’s up to you not to multiply it. Try to live in present.
In your past, you probably should have said or done some things that you didn’t. But the past is dead and you can’t do anything about it, forget it, live it behind your life, don’t carry it behind your back.
Relaxing tip 1: Start living mindful of the now. What’s happening in your life right now?
If you have unresolved problems, you can deal with them when the proper time comes, but for now you need to live this very moment.
Take a deep breath and while you exhale let your past problems go with it. Just relax and enjoy the feeling of being at peace within you.
If you feel it helps you, find a retired place in your house, close your eyes, breathe deeply a couple of times and get in contact with your here and now in peace
Relaxing tip 2: Practice this act of quiet calm not only when you feel stressed, practice it every day.
Take a couple of minutes to improve your life. Go back to a quiet place in your mind, close your eyes, and breathe deeply a couple of times until your reach your inner place of calm.
Relaxing tip 3: Every day, spend some time doing something that really pleases you.
It’s your life and happiness what we are talking about, and nobody but you are responsible for that.
Do not expect that someone else makes you feel happy and good, do it yourself!
And don’t forget your body needs. You need to eat, drink and rest properly, because if you don’t you are only setting yourself up for additional stress.
Relaxing tip 4: Isolate your stressors!
After you identify your stressors, choose one particular stressor and work on it until you regain control. Then you can go for the next one.
Don’t try to deal with all of your stressors at the same time or you might feel overwhelmed
Slowly, as you start resolving that situations you will start to feel better knowing that a brighter tomorrow is waiting for you.
Relaxing tip 5: Don’t fight alone!
If you decide to fight alone against your stressors, God will just watch you while you try it, but if you ask for His help He will help you.
Don’t give up faith! You might think that something is impossible to solve, that you just can’t solve it. And maybe you are right because we all have limitations, but God has no limitations, and He can decide to bring an unexpected solution to your life if you pray enough for it.
If you give up faith, you are already defeated before starting!
Go to your quiet place, close your eyes, take three deep breaths and relax. Then start imagining how you would like things to be…
Stay a moment feeling the joy of the accomplishment. And then let it go with the faith that what you want is coming into your life.
You don’t have to think about how you will resolve each of your problems; you only have to imagine that they are already resolved and enjoy the moment.
If you develop the ability to relax, meditate and imagine your problems resolved you will bust stress, and take control over your life.
Author of THE SECRET of The Magic Lamp and it’s 42 Self Help CD with Subliminal Messages, that can be found at http://www.drbonomi.com and also author of The Easy Home Business Web Site at http://www.easy-home-business.com